do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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