i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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