Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
