You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
