I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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