And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
