Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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