She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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