It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
