maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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