In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
