3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
