i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think people are normalizing furries
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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