I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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