what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
