it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
