After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
