When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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