i jhust puked up my retainher.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
