The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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