So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize