I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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