Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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