Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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