i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
