I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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