we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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