love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
