I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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