Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
