She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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