I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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