There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.