bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
50% drunk capacity currently
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.