I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.