He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY