i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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