you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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