he was CRYING into my vagina
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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