i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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