Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
