What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
