How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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