I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize