all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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