READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
