I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
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I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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