Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize