I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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