3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
