I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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