..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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