Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
