im holly from the hills drunk
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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