you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
