We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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