i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
