I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
