she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
