I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
