Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
