TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We need to rekindle our bromance
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
