you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
