I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Randomize
