omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Define "chronic" masturbator.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
