I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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