great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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