I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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