Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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