Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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