On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
