Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
