I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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