is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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