i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
